"Oh so that mob from up the road have finally done it. After so many years of false dawns, bottling it and generally being a laughing stock, The Chavs Borough have won the Conference for the second time. Fourteen years ago they won it, but were denied entry due to their poor facilities. Now they've sorted that out and got themselves a decent ground which is fit for the Football League, they're ready to exchange pleasantries with us once again.
After a brilliant season, where they capitalised on another huge loss of bottle by Oxford and staved off a strong recovery from Luton, they've finally fulfilled their potential and got themselves promoted. Let's face it, of all the Non-League clubs that have come up in the last few years, they appear more prepared than many of them. Accrington, Dagenham, Morecambe and so on, everything points to them acquitting themselves well and being another promoted side to leave us in their wake and fester in our own mediocrity. Less of that for now.
A win at Kidderminster yesterday confirmed what had looked on the cards for some weeks and now they get to mess around with the big boys. Shhh, don't tell them that after a little honeymoon period the novelty will wear off and suddenly it doesn't seem so exciting to welcome Lincoln to your home. Don't tell them that crowds will start to dwindle when you travel to Macclesfield midweek. Don't tell them that the step up is bigger than all of the promoted teams think. Don't tell them that after a while, you begin to realise that this is not all it's cracked up to be. Perhaps that's five seasons of overwhelmingly turgid football albeit interspersed with the occasional moment of unbridled joy talking.
Still though, it gives us something to look out for when the fixture list comes out in June. Too frequent have been my trips to Bury. Too boring have been away games at Darlington. Too dull have been visits from Macclesfield and Rotherham. Finally something to generate a little of excitement and needle. I know that many of you will take a bit longer to buy this rivalry, perhaps some will never buy it, but the fact is a fair amount of people view The Chavs Borough as a rival. No-one can deny that it will stir up a bit of passion and get a good amount of people up for a game of football. Certainly more than any game I've seen us play in over the last few seasons.
It was really developing into something decent before we decided that we were bored of the Conference and stormed through it in 2004/2005. We haven't met eachother since and as such, the opportunity for bragging rights and name calling has been lacking. It almost seems to have been a forgotten rivalry over the last few years, we certainly don't sing about them much, but I can imagine that pleasantries will soon be renewed as we once again meet those chavvy inbred concrete shithole new town four-fingered freaks from up the A1. If you can't think of anything articulate to say, I always find that playground insults do the job nicely. Bastards.
Graham Westley finally gets his crack at the Football League whip. Here's hoping for more outlandish statements and grand failures as had been the case during his first tenure with the club. His reputation still tarnished by the whole Farnborough fiasco, one hopes that he hasn't lost his penchant for ridiculous quotes and claims and indeed I hope that many of them are aimed in our direction. Just for old times' sake. The ""Destiny Will Always Take Over"" line, repeated many times since and even made into a banner for the defeat of Borough in 2005 was the pinnacle of his of fantastically quotable thoughts. The banner made its way round the Non League for a little bit before ending up back in the hands of The Chavs. Indeed, it was unfurled yesterday by their supporters and players as part of their celebrations. Whether this was a dig at us, or to show support for Westley, I find it quite funny that a focal point of their celebration was a black and amber banner. Celebrating in our colours! Good work.
But good luck to them. They're enjoying themselves and so they should be. I know a few of the The Chavs lads personally and they are good friends of mine, but when it gets round to it I will be rubbing their faces in it when we put them in their place next season. Confident speak that has not been prevalent on this site for god knows how long, but you've got to give it the big'un when it comes to your rivals. Fuck 'em. Those wankers. I hate you, etc."
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