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PHRASES

It has been noted by some that people from Barnet are incapable of talking the Queen's English because we are, in their opinion, 'Cockneys'. The fact is that we can speak in whatever manner we please because we are in the vicinity of London and therefore, better than you. Regardless, some phrasing on this website may be somewhat baffling as they are not to be found in your local dictionary. This section shall grow as we continue...

For example:

Barnet
Barnet are a club who attempt to play football along with 23 other clubs in League Two. Occasionally, the on-field play has been known to resemble football, however this cannot be taken as standard, nor should I be quoted on it. See also: FOOTBALL.

Football
Football is a game that teams like Barnet attempt to play. This should not be confused with other forms of football, such as the Premier League, where it would appear that most of the players of the sport have some degree of ability.

Luggage Racking
Typically luggage racks are found on most train carriages and their primary usage is to hold luggage from various travellers who may happen to be on that train. When there is no luggage, this is often substituted by some climbing up and lying in the luggage rack, for no particular reason other than being a bit drunk. Hence, this usually occurs on the return journey.

Rickety Train
A train that is usually found in the more remote outposts that a Barnet fan is required to visit. These trains usually consist of one, maybe two carriages that don't look fit for human inhabitation. The people on board are typically very strange looking, without being judgmental of course.

Stack
To stack, or stacking, is the noble art of jumping or running round like an absolute lunatic when your team scores. Some stacks are better than others, and often depend on the importance of the goal. An exemplary stack would be Adam Birchall's goal at Swindon Town where the crowd greeted the goal by going, quite frankly, fucking mental. See also: TERRACE RUN

Terrace Run
The terrace run is a variant of the stack. It is also performed after a team's goal and involves hurtling down the terrace steps at great speed towards the pitch to celebrate a goal. It can be performed individually, though preferrably in large groups, but Health & Safety concerns have been raised. See also: STACK

Wreck-Up
Quite simply, this involves people getting wrecked at football. Add alcohol to a mixture of the above definitions and you've pretty much got yourself a football day out. No coaches in sight. Unless it's a rail replacement...

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